I feel my life has run its course. I’ve been thinking this for a while now, and the more I think about it, the more I’m sure it’s true. It’s not a sporadic suicidal tendency, or a particularly low period of hopelessness or desperation. It’s a logical, calculated, and sane notion. If you were to take me for a psych assessment, the doctor would assuredly declare me of sane mind. I suppose I have some rather unorthodox views on life is all. There’s a quote ‘everything that has a beginning has an end’, and all lives must end. Like a great tv drama, it either goes out with a bang or it stumbles along, degrading in quality until it barely resembles that which you loved in the first place. Most people think that life itself is sacred, and worth living regardless of its nature. If you think that the case, let me ask you why so many choose to cut the cord than let their life run its natural course, and I invite you to preach the sacredness of life to a man who has lost everything and for whom every waking moment is a living hell. I find it the most fundamental right, if the only one we have, to have the power to end our own existence. I don’t want to wither into a state of complete dependency, where memories and thoughts, my only friends, cannot be drawn into coherence. I’m not ungrateful for my life, far from it. I feel so blessed with my experience of existence, but like your favourite tv show, everything has to end, and its demise takes nothing away from the joy and pleasure that its life brought. To quote Kurt Cobain, it is ‘better to burn out than fade away’.
I'd like to preface this with the assurance that it was constructed within the confines of creativity. It is, for all intents and purposes, a work of fiction...
I feel my life has run its course. I’ve been thinking this for a while now, and the more I think about it, the more I’m sure it’s true. It’s not a sporadic suicidal tendency, or a particularly low period of hopelessness or desperation. It’s a logical, calculated, and sane notion. If you were to take me for a psych assessment, the doctor would assuredly declare me of sane mind. I suppose I have some rather unorthodox views on life is all. There’s a quote ‘everything that has a beginning has an end’, and all lives must end. Like a great tv drama, it either goes out with a bang or it stumbles along, degrading in quality until it barely resembles that which you loved in the first place. Most people think that life itself is sacred, and worth living regardless of its nature. If you think that the case, let me ask you why so many choose to cut the cord than let their life run its natural course, and I invite you to preach the sacredness of life to a man who has lost everything and for whom every waking moment is a living hell. I find it the most fundamental right, if the only one we have, to have the power to end our own existence. I don’t want to wither into a state of complete dependency, where memories and thoughts, my only friends, cannot be drawn into coherence. I’m not ungrateful for my life, far from it. I feel so blessed with my experience of existence, but like your favourite tv show, everything has to end, and its demise takes nothing away from the joy and pleasure that its life brought. To quote Kurt Cobain, it is ‘better to burn out than fade away’.
3 Comments
25/12/2015 03:34:57 pm
It's where I am now. I just don't feel the need to push on anymore. The will to carry on doesn't reside in me any longer. I would miss some but I'm at a point where that's not enough to cling to. There's nothing solid to stand on for going on. I would rather meet God and be judged.
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Martin Hyde
25/12/2015 05:04:21 pm
Hey man,
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Joe
3/3/2020 04:57:50 am
<3 Beautiful sentiment! Leave a Reply. |
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